Nicole Löv - Författare

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Titeln klar! Ett mörkt förflutet
Inte mycket tid alls...
När det går trögt...
Det är de små stunderna som gör det
VAB och ingen tid...


drivs av

En skrivande vardag

När det går trögt...

Det finns nog inget värre för en författare än när orden inte kommer...
Så har jag det ofta mellan intensiva skrivperioder. Det finns dagar då orden flödar men dessa följs alltid av dagar då allt står still. Och frustrationen som kommer med det gör det långt ifrån lättare.
Nu ska jag kanske inte säga att orden inte kommer, för sätter jag mig bara vid datorn så kommer de visst. Grejen är bara den att vardagen har en tendens att komma emellan. Det finns alltid något som måste göras, mat måste handlas, och sedan var det ju städ och tvätt också... 
När jag väl har en stund över på kvällen orkar jag helt enkelt inte. 
Istället går det runt i huvudet på mig dagar och nätter, varför skrev jag inte idag heller? Men jag hade ju en så himla bra tanke som jag aldrig fick ner eftersom jag var för trött när jag väl kunde sätta mig? Varför gick jag och la mig istället för att sitta en timme och skriva? Men även om alla dessa frågor är upphov till frustration så har de ett svar: Livet och familjen. Det blir inte alltid som man vill. Och varje kväll då jag borde kunna sitta och skriva som så många andra har jag en liten son som gärna vaknar en till två gånger i timmen och ska nattas om. Det är ju inte särskilt optimalt för skrivandet.
När man är mitt i en scen vaknar lillen och då ska man ligga i sängen kanske en tjugo minuter. Och samtidigt som man kämpar så innerligt med att inte somna trots att tröttheten är överväldigande så glömmer man istället bort scenen man höll på med och när man kommer tillbaka är det inte alls samma känsla och det blir bara skit. 
På morgonen är det inte heller tal om att sätta sig och skriva, eftersom barnen vaknar runt fem... Och de få gånger man vaknar först och tänker borde jag? Då kommer man på att nej det borde jag inte. För går jag upp och skriver vaknar garanterat barnen efter två minuter eftersom de känner att jag inte längre ligger bredvid i sängen.

Så kan vardagen se ut och det kommer den nog att göra ett tag framöver. Och ja, jag försöker fortfarande "acceptera läget" eller åtminstone komma på en lösning på skrivandet...

72 kommentarer på När det går trögt...:

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